(Editor's note: Southwest Missouri State junior guard Jackie Stiles will share a weekly diary with ESPN.com throughout the season. Stiles, the nation's top Division I scorer, averages 26.6 points and is the SMS all-time scoring leader with more than 2,000 points.)

Feb. 20, 2000

Hey Lady Bear fans!!

Sorry I missed last week. Sometimes there is just not enough hours in the week to get everything done.

This week has sort of been like that also. We had a two-game road trip to Evansville and Southern Illinois. Last Monday, our first day of practice after a tough home (89-75) loss to Drake, was a very hard practice. First, we watched film and then coach (Cheryl) Burnett challenged us to step up our effort level.

I love it when Coach challenges us. I like to try and rise to the occasion and know it is only going to make me better in the long run. I think our whole team knew we had to step up our intensity and refocus on doing the effort things this program prides itself on.

It was very fitting that our practice was all defensive. Since the philosophy of this program is that it starts on the defensive end, we definitely got after each other in practice. After one of our drills I could hardly stand up because I was so exhausted. I left that practice with floor burns all over me -- and two of my teammates left on crutches. As the week went along, our practices went very well and we felt good going into our game Friday night at Evansville.

We saw some really good movies on the six-hour bus ride to Evansville on Thursday night. The only one I didn't like was Arlington Road. I was so mad after that movie. I absolutely hated the ending.

Friday night finally arrived and, from what I hear, Evansville had a record crowd for our game. We had at least 200 of our fans there as well. Our fans are the greatest! They have no idea how much we appreciate the support they give us. I feel bad that they had to witness our game against Evansville (a 68-55 loss). From the beginning, things did not go our way. I felt like I was making things worse when I was out there.

In the opening minutes of the game, I blew a wide open layup. We were completely out of sync and didn't play well the entire night. I knew our fans had to be disappointed that they drove all that way to watch us play like we did. I knew our coaches were extremely disappointed in us, and we were, too.

Carbondale, bowling and team bonding
Our coaches must of felt we needed more team bonding, because instead of practice on Saturday, we took the day off. We went on to Carbondale and went out to eat that night. After eating, we went bowling.

To be honest, at first I wasn't very excited about the whole thing. My first instinct when I play terrible is to go to the gym and gain my confidence back by working on the things I didn't do well. I don't handle losing very well and it devastates me. I'm not a very fun person to be around after a loss. So I was not really excited about socializing, but I had no choice but to go bowling with my teammates, and after the night was over, I was really glad we went. I ended up having a really good time and it took my mind off of our recent setbacks for a while.

We were ready to play on Sunday against Southern Illinois. Coach Burnett shook up the lineup a little by starting three new people. The team also tried something different by all wearing braids in our hair. That is the first time I've ever wore a braid in my hair for a game since I usually have a ponytail.

We let SIU hang around in the first half, turning the ball over 15 times. I definitely helped contribute to that stat. The second half was much better as we finally got our offense going and ended up winning 78-52. That made the bus ride home a lot more fun.

I would like to really thank all the fans that come out and support our team. Against SIU, we must of had two or three hundred fans backing us. Hopefully next time we can give them an even better performance.

Until next time ...

Jackie #10